Commitment Issues and Beginnings

Blogs freak me out, because they represent a commitment I’ve really never been able to keep. I’m a little bit of a serial blogger. I’ve had one before that lasted all of three months. I remember not writing on it for almost 4 weeks, and then making this grand “I’m baaaack” type post about how this time, this is for REAL. I never used it again.

When I was younger, I was OBSESSED with that book series, The Royal Diaries, where authors would pen fake diaries of historical figures when they were in their teens. Marie Antoinette, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Mary Queen of Scots and more all had diaries where they would reveal the deepest secrets of their most interesting lives and I was hooked. I wanted to do the same, but after a while and about 50 (not kidding) half-filled overpriced diaries from Barnes and Noble, I realized that while good ole Marie was writing about becoming the French dauphine and Mary had that whole country to rule, I was writing about getting a bad grade on a 5th grade math exam.

So, I stopped. And started. And stopped. And started…

It’s hard for me to do things for no specific reason. It’s bad, I know, and as someone who wants to make a career out of writing eventually, I know I should be trying to get something, anything, down on paper every single day. But I just don’t. If I have a paper due in a class at school, I’ll do it. If I have a column or an article due for my newspaper or for a journalism class, I’ll do it, and I’ll put every ounce of myself into it. Blogs and diaries and journals don’t have the audience my mind requires to churn out something. The partial reason for this blog’s existence is to change that about myself and the way my mind works; to allow myself to make a commitment to something for the sole reason that I enjoy doing it, not because I can put it on my résumé or because if I don’t do it, I’ll receive a stern e-mail from a professor.

The other reason I decided to start this blog is because, and I’m going to be completely honest, this summer did not turn out to be what I thought it would be. I’ll get into that later in another post, but after applying to about 20 internships that all turned out to be completely fruitless, I accepted my fated uneventful summer and tried to turn a negative into a positive. This blog is to keep me writing, keep me experimenting, and keep me active during a summer that otherwise, is pretty uneventful when it comes to the C word (career).

I don’t really know what “kind” of blog this is, so when people ask me, it usually produces a lot of stuttering and “ummms” and “wells.” I don’t like the term “lifestyle blog,” because I don’t really know what it means. All I know is that if you come here, you can expect to find recipes, beauty/makeup posts, book reviews, and my own ramblings on whatever I’m doing in my life.

So my friends, welcome to The Messy Updo. This will be as much of a learning experience for me that it is for you, and while I’m definitely anxious about sticking to this commitment, I’m excited for what the process has in store. Who knows, maybe I’ll even learn something about myself! Unless that’s only something that happens in movies.





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